Portal Kombat!
by cerealkiller49
Summary: Chell is summoned to do Kombat with a very teleporty ninja... Rated M for graphic details. KOMPLETE


**Author's note: I'm honestly surprised that no one's written any fanfictions like this. Portal and Mortal are only one letter away! Besides, MK9 and Portal 2 were released on the same day! :S This is my first fanfiction, so reviews would be welcome. Finally completed (not that anyone cares)!  
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**Portal Kombat!**

Chell was living a good life. Ever since she escaped the Aperture Science Complex two years ago, she had gotten a well-paying job as an accountant, and was enjoying her free life, though questions of her past still plague her, and she had yet to find a boyfriend.

One day, Chell was rushing to work, as she had woke up late, and decided to use the Portal Gun that she had smuggled out of the complex to get to work faster. But as she opened the orange portal, she found that it was different. Instead of the usual orange rim and showing the opposite side in the middle, it had a swirling green rim, and a pitch black center. Normally, Chell would not have gone through the portal, but, seeing as she was going to be late if she didn't, she stepped through the portal without a second thought.

As she materialized on the other side of the strange portal, she found herself not at the office where she worked, but inside what appeared to be the grand hall of a fortress. The first thing that caught her eye was the throne. Not only was it enormous, it was decorated with a massive, inhuman skull behind it, and two identical skulls adorned the sides. Sitting on the throne was an equally impressive man wearing a warlord helmet with a skull-like design with a crest along the forehead. He also wore spiked shoulder pads, knee pads, and gauntlets, and a plate with a skull design attached to two straps that intersected diagonally across his chest.

Looking around the room, Chell also noticed that there seemed to be two glass windows behind the throne that looked a lot like eye holes on a skull. There were several spiked pillars with skulls hanging off the spikes scattered throughout the room. The floor and the walls had a sigil of a dragon on it. The room itself was quite big, and it seemed it could easily hold 50 people, maybe more. However, the room was empty right now, except for her, the man on the throne, and a tall, well-built man with completely white skin that looked like it was painted, but Chell could not be completely sure. The white man was bald, and had black markings above his eyes, running up until it went over the top of his head. His torso was mostly bare, save for the strap that ran diagonally from his left shoulder to his right hip. He also wore black gloves, black pants, a black loincloth, and had strange, red markings on his arms.

Both men stared at Chell with red eyes, which unnerved her, and then the man on the throne announced in a loud voice:

"Greetings, Earthling! I am Shao Kahn, emperor of Outworld! You have been chosen to participate in a special round of Mortal Kombat!"

"What is Mortal Kombat?" inquired Chell. "Why have you chosen me? And how can I get out of here?"

"Silence, fool!" snapped the white man. "You will be quiet when the emperor talks."

"Who do you think you are?" said Chell, with a look of disdain on her face

"I am Quan Chi, one of the personal sorcerers of the Emperor," answered Quan Chi. "And you will show the utmost respect to the Emperor."

"Enough, sorcerer," growled Shao Kahn. "Answer her questions so we may have our entertainment."

"Very well, Emperor," replied Quan Chi. "Mortal Kombat is a magically enhanced style of fighting. While participating in Mortal Kombat, Kombatants are able to survive wounds that are usually fatal, like bullet shots, broken spines, snapped necks, acid and fire burns, being stabbed by shards of ice and swords…the list goes on. However, Kombatants are only alive so long as they have the strength to fight. Once they run out of strength, their opponent will be able to finish them off. That should answer your first question.

"As for why you have been chosen, we heard that you have a lot of experience with portals. We have quite an expert on portals here as well, and we would like to see if you could best him in a round of Mortal Kombat.

"Finally, you will be able to leave if you best your opponent in Mortal Kombat. However, if you fail, you will be finished."

"Then let us get this over with," declared Chell with a determined look.

"OUTSTANDING," growled Shao Kahn. "Bring out the Kombatant, Quan Chi."

"Very well, Emperor," said Quan Chi with a slight bow. "Noob Saibot, GET OVER HERE!"

Immediately after Quan Chi uttered those words, a portal with a swirling dark purple rim and black center opened up in the ground, and figure dressed entirely in black, ninja-like garments leaped out of the portal. Seeing Chell, the figure got into a fighting stance.

"Defeat Noob Saibot, and you will be able to return to Earthrealm," announced Shao Kahn. "Round 1…FIGHT!"

Immediately after Shao Kahn uttered those words, Noob launched himself at Chell and smashed his elbow into her face, knocking her off her feet. The sudden attack temporarily stunned Chell, giving Noob an opportunity to follow up on his initial attack by sending his shadow to slide across the floor into Chell as she tried to get back up.

Chell struggled back up onto her feet. The sudden attack had given her a bloody nose a bruise, but that did nothing but get her blood boiling. Having survived several murder attempts from 2 AI's made her able to withstand a lot of pain, and she could dish it out as well. Chell charged at the shadowy ninja, but he evaporated into an oily pool, slid under Chell's punch, materialized behind her, and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to her back, causing her to stumble forward.  
Seeing that she obviously couldn't beat Noob in a straight out battle of brawn, she whipped out her portal gun.

_Charging in close would probably result in the same thing happening again_, thought Chell. _I need to use portals to kick his butt, and bring more brain into this battle of brawn. He is said to be a master of portals, however, so I will have to be wary._

With that in mind, she opened a portal in front of her, and a portal beneath Noob. This caused him to fall through the portal into Chell's full force haymaker, sending him back through the portal and a good 5 feet into the air. Chell was getting ready to slug Noob hard again as he fell through the portal again, but Noob slipped through a portal of his own, and denied Chell her right hook. Chell immediately jumped backwards, just as a shadowy portal opened beneath her, and Noob erupted out of it.

"Not bad Earthling," commented Noob. "Not only have you predicted my moves, you also pack quite a punch. I will not underestimate you now. Prepare for the terrifying combo of Noob and Saibot!"

"What do you mean?" asked Chell. "Aren't you Noob Saib-"

She did not finish her sentence as Saibot emerged from behind her and grabbed both her arms in a firm grip. Noob then launched a brutal punch to Chell's face, breaking her skull and knocking a few teeth out. Then, Saibot kneed Chell in the back, fracturing her spine in several locations. Noob continued to kick Chell in the stomach, causing her to spew her bacon-and-eggs breakfast all over Noob's leg. Satisfied with his work, Noob spun back and faced her.

"Incorrect," said Noob. "I am Noob. And this-" Noob gestured to his shadow, which just materialized beside him. "-is Saibot. Together we are Noob Saibot, the unstoppable duo who fights cheaply and interchangeably as one."

"That's pretty lame," panted Chell, as she got back up on her feet. "I'm essentially fighting 1v2, but this still technically counts as 1v1?" _Damn. So not only is he stronger than me, he can summon his shadow clone to help him too! Ugh…that last attack hurt a lot! I'm sure my skull is broken and my spine fractured, and yet I'm still able to move my legs and fight! Surely, this is magically enhanced fighting. On another note, I should try something like he did, and break some of his bones. All right…here goes!_

"That's right, Earthling," sneered Noob. "That, combined with my Shadow Ball, is why people hate me. And I have yet to even show you my telepo-"

Noob was interrupted by a portal opening at his feet, and he fell through it, and he emerged on the other side several feet above Chell, and rapidly falling towards her.

"EAT THIS!" yelled Chell as she swung with all her might at Noob.

Time seemed to slow down for a moment when her fist contacted his face. If one was to look at Noob's face with X-ray vision at that time, one would see his skull cracking all over the place, and several teeth flying out.

Chell's punch was so powerful it caused Noob to fly back up a few feet, and do a 180 flip in mid-air, before falling down again. As Noob soaring at her, Chell opened a portal a few feet in front of her, and a portal directly in front of a wall. As soon as Noob came in range, she kicked him hard in the back. If one were to again slow time and look at the scene with X-ray vision, they would see that his spine fractured in at least 7 different locations. The force of the kick sent Noob into the portal Chell opened and headfirst into the wall, causing further skull damage.

"Not bad, if I do say so myself," smirked Chell.

Noob spun around, his eyes glowing with furious red light.

"I WILL FINISH YOU!" roared Noob as he leaped at her.

Chell opened a portal in front of her, and another portal in front of a wall, planning to send Noob face-first into the wall, but Noob slipped into his own portal just before he hit Chell's. He reemerged behind Chell, and delivered a powerful kick to the back of her head, sending her forward into another one of Noob's portals. She rematerialized right above Noob, and he did a backflip-kick that sent her flying a good few feet. He was not done however, he sent Saibot sliding across the floor into Chell, knocking her back up. Noob followed up on that by teleporting behind her and pulling off a 15-hit combo on Chell, sending her from one end of the room to another and causing her to somehow levitate in front of the wall as he continued to punch her. Chell could tell from the beating she had received that Noob was indeed a master of his particular style of Kombat. Not only did he regularly shoot portals above him (which came down on her) to continue his combo, but he would also teleport around and smash her into the ground. Not only that, but he also used his shadow clone to effectively continue to bring the pain. Noob finished his combo by jumping into a portal, reappearing beneath her, grabbing her, and jumping into another portal that materialized above him. He reappeared several seconds later, smashing Chell headfirst into the ground and rolling away from her.

Chell struggled back to her feet, panting hard. Noob had given her quite the beating (19-hit combo!), and blood was getting into her eyes. And her mouth. And her lungs. And probably her stomach too. She could barely stand, and Noob was just standing there with hardly a smudge on his garments. Chell was not one to give up easily, however, so she made one final effort by projecting a portal in front of Noob's face and another in front of her. Noob proved to be too quick for her, and sent his fist through the portal before Chell could send her's. That punch was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Chell collapsed.

"EXCELLENT," growled Shao Kahn. "Noob Saibot wins!"

As soon as he said that, Chell felt a burst of energy revitalizing her, and she stood back up.

"You noob," Noob sneered. "You didn't even try to block, or use a single breaker. This will be too easy. That X-ray attack will be the only attack you land on me, Earthling."

"Block? Breaker? What are you talking about?" asked Chell. "Stop treating this like a game!"

At that, Noob broke into raucous laughter.

"It's RT to block. Or R2 if you're inferior. Also, forward and block is a breaker. You should learn to play before challenging the MASTA!"

"Enough talk Noob," said Shao Kahn. "Back to the fighting!"

"Yes, emperor," said Noob, with a slight bow.

"Round 2…fight!"

Noob launched himself (and Saibot) at Chell, who instinctively raised two arms in front of her, bracing for impact. Noob and Saibot both crashed into her and bounced harmlessly off, only hurting her arms a little bit.

"Not bad, Earthling," chuckled Noob. "You've learned to block. But that alone won't save you."

With that, Noob jumped into a portal that opened above him, disappearing from view. He exited out of a portal that opened at Chell's feet, grabbed her, and jumped into another portal that opened above him. After a few moments, he reappeared from the top portal and smashed Chell's head into the ground. He then sent Saibot to slide tackle Chell and sent her up into the air, where Noob relentlessly punched and jabbed Chell. It appeared it was going to be a repeat of last round, but Chell recovered at around the 9-hit point. Doing a totally cool backflip in mid-air, she socked Noob so hard, the air rippled at the point of impact, and Noob went flying into the wall, leaving a huge hole.

"Not bad at all," commented Noob as he wiped his facemask (one would imagine that would be his mouth if it wasn't covered up). "You've learned to use your breaker as well. But you can't keep it up forever. I've already done a cool 9-hit combo this round and a 19-hit combo last round. You haven't pulled off a single combo since your X-ray attack, which was the only successful attack you've landed on me."

"Wrong, Noob. Aren't you forgetting that little combo I pulled off before the X-ray attack?"

"That's like, only one hit."

"ENOUGH TALK," roared Shao Kahn. "I'm trying to watch a noob fight Noob in a noob fight!"

"Yes, emperor," said Noob, adopting a fighting position.

_Noob is right though, _thought Chell. _If I don't go on the offensive he'll never go down. It's time I showed him what I can do._

Chell opened a portal at Noob's feet and another over Noob's head. Noob fell through the first portal and out the second, right into Chell's path as she rushed forward to get some damage off on Noob. Chell's first instinct was to put all her power into an uppercut and knock Noob several feet into the air, but she resisted. _Noob pulled off a cool 19-hit combo on me already, _she thought. _It's time to return the favor. _

Stepping forward, she hit Noob with a quick jab. To her surprise, it knocked Noob up a little bit, just enough for her to take another step forward and throw out another punch. After two or three hits, she found herself punching as if to a rhythm, and started mixing it up by throwing in a few high and low kicks.

_This really is strange_, thought Chell. _I'm barely putting any strength into my attacks and yet he's flying every time I hit him. Also, even though I only hit him on the feet, injuries are appearing on other areas of his body too. Hey, as long as it allows me to win the fight, whatever._

Finally, as she pinned Noob against the wall, Chell missed a beat in her rhythm and Noob dropped to the ground, dazed.

"How many hits was that, noob?" challenged Chell.

"About 23," replied the Konqueror.

"Ha! Top that!" smirked Chell.

"Just you wait," growled Noob as he struggled onto his feet. "I will rip you to pieces."

"Come at me then!"

Screaming ferally, Noob launched himself at Chell, but she jumped over him, did a backflip, and slammed her foot into Noob's back, sending him into the ground violently. Chell landed on Noob, and pushed herself away from him with her feet. Standing up, she looked back at Noob, expecting him to be standing up and mocking her, but was surprised to see that he was out cold.

"HAHAHA! OUTSTANDING!" laughed Shao Kahn. "Chell wins!"

As soon as Shao Kahn said that, Noob got back on his feet, his eyes glowing furiously.

"It comes down to this final round, WOMAN. I will end you."

"Then you better give it your all, I'm planning on living to see another day!"

"Round 3...FIGHT!"

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**Noob Saibot wins**

Noob Saibot was mad.

REALLY MAD.

Not only did he lose to a WOMAN, he got smacked around by one. The fact that she pulled a 23-hit combo on him also added some salt to his wounds. He had never expected a mere WOMAN to put up such a fight, nor did he expect that she would be able to draw blood (though she had only hit him on the feet the entire time...). Nevertheless, he was going to rip her to pieces.

As he expected, Chell made the first move, probably trying to work off the momentum she gained from the last round. He easily back-flipped over portal Chell opened at his feet. Seeing that, Chell leaped into the portal that she opened in front of her, soaring out of the portal that Noob was standing over and heading right at Noob with a flying kick. Noob rolled under her and attempted to sweep her legs out from under her but she easily jumped away from that. Chell continued on the offensive by running at Noob and throwing a series of punches at kicks at him, all of which he dodged or blocked with little difficulty.

"What's wrong Noob?" Chell taunted. "You're usually more talkative and more offensive, why opt for this quiet, defensive approach? Scared that you're gonna get your butt 23-hit-comboed again?"

Noob grinned ferally, not that anyone could see it due to his facemask. "Just letting you get off that momentum from last round, now I'm ready to kick your butt once and for all."

Chell smirked, and was about to provide a witty response, but was cut off by Noob's fist in her face, smashing her into the wall. She got up to retaliate, but was blindsided by Saibot, who appeared under her and knocked her up. Noob followed up with a flurry of punches and kicks, and ended his beat-down by sending Saibot to tackle Chell to the ground.

As Chell struggled up, Noob smirked. "What's wrong woman? Is your stamina running out already?"

Chell said nothing in response, but continued to glare at him while breathing heavily. It was true, her body was in pain and her arms and legs felt so heavy it felt like they would fall off, but she wouldn't let Noob know.

Noob walked up to her in two big strides and kicked her viciously in the stomach, sending her up into the air. As she was falling down, he smashed his fist into her back and she was sent flying. Noob teleported behind her and kneed her in the face as she flew towards him, sending her airborne again. Finally, Noob (and Saibot) leaped into the above Chell, gripped both hands together, and smashed Chell into the ground, where she landed with a sickening crunch and a massive crater. It was painfully obvious that she would not be fighting again after that, even though she staggered up onto her feet, where she swayed dizzily.

"FINISH HER"

Saibot appeared behind Chell and grabbed a leg, while Noob grabbed the other. They both pulled hard, causing Chell to scream, and then her body started ripping in half. First they pulled until everything under her diaphragm was ripped...then her head...and finally they ripped her completely in half. Noob held up on half, while Saibot held up the other in a victory pose.

"NOOB SAIBOT WINS.

"FLAWLESS VICTORY.

"FATALITY."

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**Chell wins  
**

Noob Saibot was mad.

REALLY MAD.

Chell could tell by the smell that he was giving off (like a rusting bell) and it made her feel swell. After a horrific first round, she had managed to win a second round in a terrific stomp. Now she just needed to work off the momentum from the second round and clench the comeback victory.

Seeing as Noob wasn't going to make a move anytime soon, Chell opened a portal under Noob's feet and another in front of her, but Noob easily backflipped over the first portal she opened. Seeing that, Chell leaped into the portal that she opened in front of her, soaring out of the portal that Noob was standing over and heading right at Noob with a flying kick. Noob rolled under her and attempted to sweep her legs out from under her but she easily jumped away from that. Chell continued on the offensive by running at Noob and throwing a series of punches at kicks at him, all of which he dodged or blocked with little difficulty, which was starting to get a little frustrating for Chell, so she decided to see if she could provoke him into being more offensive, and maybe let down his guard.

"What's wrong Noob?" Chell taunted. "You're usually more talkative and more offensive, why opt for this quiet, defensive approach? Scared that you're gonna get your butt 23-hit-comboed again?"

At that point, Noob's facemask distorted, as if he was grinning ferally. "Just letting you get off that momentum from last round, now I'm ready to kick your butt once and for all."

Chell smirked, and was about to come up with a witty response but Noob leaped at her, trying to smash her face in, but Chell just barely dodged that and viciously undecutted Noob in the stomach, winding him. Chell then stood up straight and kneed Noob hard in the chin, sending him into the air, where she relentlessly pummeled him with punches and kicks until she could do it no more.

As Noob struggled up, Chell smirked. "What's wrong noob? Is your stamina running out already?"

Noob said nothing in response, but continued to glare at her while panting heavily. It was true, his body was in pain and he couldn't feel his Saibot, but he wouldn't let Chell know.

Chell walked up to him in two big strides and punched him hard in the face, causing him to fall onto his back. She then smashed her foot into his chest, breaking several of his ribs. Then Chell picked Noob up and threw him into the opposite wall, leaving a huge imprint where Noob hit. It was painfully obvious that he wouldn't be fighting again, even as he struggled up onto his feet, swaying dizzily.

"There's no way I'm losing to a noob," smirked Chell.

"FINISH HIM"

At the sound of those words, Chell experienced a bloodlust that she never experienced before. Something primal within her urged her desperately to kill the dizzy Netherrealm ninja in front of her, even though she was a peaceful woman and valued all life, even life as twisted and horrible as the black-garbed fighter she had just defeated.

"**FINISH HIM**"

Shao Kahn said it again, with more force this time. The violent urges surged, and without any control over her own body, Chell opened a portal at Noob's feet, and another portal somewhere else. As Noob fell half-way through the portal, she banished them, bisecting Noob in half perfectly.

"CHELL WINS.

"FLAWLESS VICTORY.

"FATALITY."

Chell was ashamed of herself. How could she claim to be a peaceful, life-loving pacifist when she was capable of horribly executing some like that? She couldn't bear the fact that she had killed someone so easily without a second thought, and was on the verge of a breakdown when a voice broke her out of her thought.

"I suppose congratulations are in order, Earthling," said Quan Chi. "You have earned your freedom." As he said this he conjured up a portal. "Enter through here and you will be wherever you wish to be, at the exact same time when you entered the portal that brought you here. You will be completely well-rested and cleaned, and your clothing repaired."

Chell put her thoughts away. Whoever these people were, they were obviously capable of using powerful magics that could invoke powerful bloodlust in even the most peaceful of people. Feeling a little bit better, she stepped though the portal Quan Chi had conjured and willed herself into her office with a new suit, ready for another day of menial work.

"What of Noob Saibot, sorcerer?" asked Shao Kahn once Chell was gone.

"I will attempt to take hold of his soul once more and reincarnate him, but I can easily create a better servant if I cannot," replied Quan Chi.

"EXCELLENT. I look forward to having more fun with this...Portal Kombat."

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**Can't believe I actually finished this within three months...I thought it would take me at least half a year. I'd like to thank the fanfiction writers at D. Gray Man for motivation to keep writing (everytime I read something from there my soul develops a fatal infection that can only be cured by updating this story). I think the next MK crossover will be for D. Gray man, though who vs. who is still a question I have to answer. It will probably Lenalee vs. Kabal or Kanda vs. Kenshi or Shao Kahn vs Lavi. Of course I could involve Allen, but he's an overpowered piece of ****.  
**


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